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DOJ, Lies. Synonymous.

The Knickerbockers, an American band with an uncanny sound like the Beatles, is the inspiration for this week’s column about the lying, conniving and deceiving United States Department of Justice.

“Lies, lies, you’re tellin’ me that you’ll be true. Lies, lies, that’s all I ever get from you.”

When I last acliescused the government of lying to us, some in the audience took umbrage with that declaration and chastised me, telling me that “the government is us” and “we are all in this together.” My heart aches at the lost of liberty at the hands of the beast we call our government.

“Someday I’m gonna be happy, but I don’t know when just now. Lies, lies, breakin’ my heart.”

I recognize that do-gooders really don’t want to believe that the government intentionally lies, just like a forlorn lover who is left at the altar wants to believe that something bad must have happened to keep their putative spouse from the wedding.

“Tears, tears, I shed a million tears for you. Tears, tears, and now you’re lovin’ someone new.”

Loretta Lynch is the Attorney General of the United States. Under her watch, the DOJ has just been handed a stinging rebuke by a federal court judge, the likes of which I can’t recall.

“You think that you’re such a smart girl, and I’ll believe what you say, but who do you think you are, girl? To lead me on this way, hey!”

Two weeks ago, Judge Hanen, a federal court judge in Texas, ordered annual ethics classes for ALL Department of Justice attorneys in 26 states because the DOJ lied. It wasn’t a little white lie either.

“Lies, lies, I can’t believe a word you say, Lies, lies, are gonna make you sad someday.”

The DOJ tricked 26 states, who having filed a lawsuit challenging President Obama’s deferred action initiative, were told by DOJ that no action would be taken on deferred action until the litigation was resolved.

“You think that you’re such a smart girl, and I’ll believe what you say, but who do you think you are, girl?, to lead me on this way, hey!”

DOJ then consulted with the White House (proven by testimony and records of telephone calls) and proceeded to grant 100,000 deferrals anyway.

“I said, baby, now, breakin’ my heart. Oh, that you’re still breakin’ my heart, breakin’ my heart.”

DOJ, when confronted with facts, “admitted making statements that did not match the facts”, according to Judge Hanen’s order. “It has admitted that the lawyers who made these statements had knowledge of the truth when they made these misstatements … This court would be remiss if it left such unseemly and unprofessional conduct unaddressed.”
“Lies, lies, I can’t believe a word you say. Lies, lies, are gonna make you sad someday.”

As punishment, DOJ attorneys in all 26 states affected who wish to appear in any federal or state court will have to undergo three hours of ethics training per year. Now as someone with friends who are Assistant U.S. Attorneys, I feel sorry for those who had nothing to do with this blatant falsehood, as their good names are being sullied by an Administration that flagrantly lies to federal courts and the public. It’s a classic case of one team member causing everybody to have to run 10 laps. The judge obviously feels that if the thousands of good attorneys get irritated enough, they will put pressure on DOJ to learn to tell the truth. There is some merit to that, however, I prefer to have seen the ones who lied to the judge prosecuted. If we want to stop DOJ attorneys lying to courts, put a few in prison and it’ll stop.

“Someday I’m gonna be happy, but I don’t know when just now. Lies, lies, breakin’ my heart.”

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